Have you ever had a day at work that was so difficult and draining, it felt like it took a toll on your entire being? You’re not alone. Meet Dr. Sara Gray, an expert in wellness, resilience, and resuscitation team performance. In this episode, Dr. Gray dives deep into her special framework for coping with difficult days and how to recover and even come out of them a little stronger. She has outlined a process to help you identify and acknowledge the struggles, practice self-care, and ultimately, learn from the experience. This framework will provide you with a roadmap for navigating the complex emotions that come with these difficult moments.
The Flameproof Course on Shift KickAssery:
Scott Weingart and I are putting on the Flameproof: Shift KickAssery workshop on May 29, 2023, at the Cosmopolitan Hotel, Las Vegas. 9a-1p. Limited space (intentionally). This is a PreCon for Essentials of Emergency Medicine. Register Here.
Guest Bio:
Dr. Sara Gray is an Emergency Medicine & Critical Care Physician, Associate Professor at the University of Toronto, and Chief Medical Director with Advisory Services by Cleveland Clinic Canada. Dr. Gray was once named Toronto’s best ER doctor by Toronto Life Magazine. She is also a professional coach and a public speaker.
We discuss:
Why it’s important for medical professionals to prepare for a bad shift or traumatic event.
- They are in a position to make life-changing decisions and have to deal with a variety of challenging situations on a daily basis.
- Recovery will go much more smoothly if you have a plan.
- Help build resilience and adaptability to the changing needs of the workplace.
- This can lead to more positive outcomes and improve patient care.
- Reduce stress and anxiety which can help to make difficult days more manageable.
The framework steps in coping with bad shifts and difficult cases.
- Step 0: Awareness – Recognize that you are in a difficult situation and need to activate a framework. This means acknowledging the event that has occurred and allowing yourself to experience the emotions that come with it.
- Step 1: Processing – Process emotions and talk about the event with someone who is supportive. This could be a close friend, a therapist, or even a colleague. It is important to express your feelings and experiences without fear of judgment.
- Step 2: Self Care – Take care of yourself and practice self-compassion. Self-care can also include activities that bring joy. Self-compassion can help you to recover from the traumatic event and to build resilience for the future.
- Step 3: Silver Lining – Find the silver lining or lesson from the experience and use it to grow. It will not always reveal itself right away but, with practice, you will be able to use the lessons to help you navigate future crisis situations.
What is a failure friend and what are their characteristics?
- You can have a different failure friend for different situations.
- Someone who will listen and not necessarily provide the solution.
- Asks the best way to provide support.
- Provides direct feedback
- Allows you to express your feelings and experiences without fear of judgement.
Quotes
“We train to manage all sorts of disasters, to manage the worst cases, but nobody teaches you how to recover when it goes badly.” – Dr. Sara Gray
“If you have a plan, you can make your recovery so much easier.” – Dr. Sara Gray
“There’s always something there that I can learn to try to use that to get better for the next time. And that’s where I really get to acceptance once I’m able to learn something from it that’s really helpful for me in moving forward.” – Dr. Sara Gray
Resources and references:
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself By Kristin Neff, Ph.D.
Other episodes you’ll enjoy:
Episode 76. Silencing Your Inner Critic
Mario says
This was a great episode, and it would have been even better to include the concept of religion and prayer, even if you don’t do it or it hasn’t work well for you (that didn’t stop you from talking about journaling and recommending people try it). God is a great failure friend and has helped me get through the worst times in my life.
Lon Setnik says
How do we both strive for the perfection our patients deserve and care for ourselves when that striving inevitably falls short because of the messiness of what we do?
Thank you for this fantastic episode. Dr. Gray thoughtfully and expertly shares both her wisdom and her caring nature. These come through like a bright sunbeam on a cloudy day. Great conversation with even more than the usual humility and vulnerability that make these conversations about the human side of our work so fantastic.