{"id":2205,"date":"2023-09-04T02:30:00","date_gmt":"2023-09-04T09:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/roborman.com\/?p=2205"},"modified":"2023-12-31T11:20:25","modified_gmt":"2023-12-31T19:20:25","slug":"108-how-to-not-argue-with-reality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/roborman.com\/stimulus\/108-how-to-not-argue-with-reality\/","title":{"rendered":"108. How To Not Argue With Reality"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>It\u2019s tempting to think of accepting the reality of the moment as acquiescence or giving up, but the opposite is true. Awareness and acceptance of what\u2019s going on inside of you and around you is a recipe for equanimity. With this equanimity, you are able to operate at a higher level as well as be an effective agent for change in the system. Sounds like a paradox! In this episode, we look at mindfulness as a tool for addressing and mitigating burnout, fostering self-compassion, promoting a sense of well-being, squashing imposter syndrome, restoring autonomy, working through our \u2018specialness\u2019, getting out of a scarcity mindset, doubting self-doubt, and getting charts done so you can get home on time (yes, it\u2019s true!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Stay Connected<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Sign up for our newsletter <a href=\"https:\/\/sendfox.com\/roborman\">here<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Read our last newsletter \u201cThe Kids Who Hated Math Have Something to Teach Us\u201d <a href=\"https:\/\/sendfox.com\/roborman\/c\/5wwrpq\/untitled-email\">here<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Elevate Your Career<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>To learn more about 1 on 1 coaching, <a href=\"https:\/\/roborman.com\/\">start here<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Guest Bio:<\/strong> <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Gail Gazelle, MD, MCC is an assistant professor at Harvard Medical School and Master Certified Coach for physicians. She is the author of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gailgazelle.com\/resilience-book\/\"><em>Everyday Resilience<\/em>. A<em> Practical Guide to Build Inner Strength and Weather Life\u2019s Challenges<\/em><\/a>, and most recently <a href=\"https:\/\/gailgazelle.com\/mindfulmd\/\"><em>Mindful MD. 6 Ways Mindfulness Restores Your Autonomy and Cures Healthcare Burnout<\/em><\/a>. To hear more of Gail, she\u2019s the featured guest on<a href=\"https:\/\/roborman.com\/stimulus\/27-gail-gazelle\/\"> Stimulus Episode 27<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"color:#ddd\" class=\"wp-block-genesis-blocks-gb-spacer gb-block-spacer gb-divider-solid gb-divider-size-1\"><hr style=\"height:30px\"\/><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"width: 100%; height: 200px; margin-bottom: 20px; border-radius: 6px; overflow: hidden;\"><iframe style=\"width: 100%; height: 200px;\" frameborder=\"no\" scrolling=\"no\" allow=\"clipboard-write\" seamless src=\"https:\/\/player.captivate.fm\/episode\/706166f9-aba4-4560-a267-c2f703984744\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"color:#ddd\" class=\"wp-block-genesis-blocks-gb-spacer gb-block-spacer gb-divider-solid gb-divider-size-1\"><hr style=\"height:30px\"\/><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>We Discuss<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>What the heck is mindfulness anyway?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Jan Chozen Bays, MD, a pediatrician and Zen teacher puts it so beautifully\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Mindfulness is deliberately paying full attention to what&#8217;s happening around you and within you, your body, your heart, and your mind.&nbsp;Mindfulness is awareness without criticism or judgment.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The thinking mind can be overwhelming<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Identifying what\u2019s going on in your mind can help restore autonomy, which is a tool for managing burnout<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Our continuous stream of thoughts can be overwhelming and lead to emotional reactivity<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Gail uses the metaphor of a waterfall. The mind can be like standing under a waterfall of continuous thoughts<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Without mindfulness, we can feel trapped under the waterfall of our thoughts<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">\u201cYou don&#8217;t have to be trapped under the waterfall. We don&#8217;t learn that skill in our training. It&#8217;s&#8230; almost criminal that we don&#8217;t, because it&#8217;s so freeing and there&#8217;s so much autonomy in actually developing that mastery over our minds.&#8221;<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Mindfulness training helps us gain autonomy.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Mindfulness allows individuals to step back and observe their thoughts from a distance<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>By distancing ourselves from thoughts, we realize we have choices in how we respond<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Choosing not to attach to certain thoughts leads to freedom and autonomy<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Apps and other methods to help with meditation and mindfulness<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Meditation apps are all variations on a theme. Whatever you enjoy using and use regularly is going to be the best one. We use Waking Up and 10% Happier<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/roborman.com\/stimulus\/stimulus-podcast-38-how-to-meditate\/\">Stimulus Episode 38<\/a> gives a detailed walkthrough of how to start a mindfulness and meditation practice<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Mindfulness helps in gaining awareness and insight into one&#8217;s inner dialogue.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Mindfulness creates space between stimulus and response and allows for a discerning perspective on thoughts and oneself<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>We are not our thoughts but it can be hard to realize that when we\u2019re not aware of what our thoughts are doing or saying<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Even though we\u2019re not our thoughts, we can become \u2018fused\u2019 with them. Mindfulness can help de-fuse us from our thoughts, allowing us to observe them rather than being overtaken by them<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Recognizing that we are not our thoughts helps restore autonomy and cure burnout.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Distancing ourselves from thoughts allows us to recognize that they don&#8217;t define us<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Restoring autonomy comes from understanding that thoughts are transient and changeable<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Imposter beliefs contribute to burnout and prevent recognition of our own accomplishments.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>The majority of physicians and clinicians have imposter beliefs<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Availability_heuristic\">Availability heuristic <\/a>makes us focus on our flaws and compare ourselves to others<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Social media amplifies the comparison effect by showcasing only positive aspects of others&#8217; lives<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Steps to challenge and overcome imposter beliefs<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Question and challenge imposter beliefs to prevent erosion of wellbeing<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Recognize that even those we compare ourselves to may feel like imposters<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Let go of imposter thoughts as they do not define our true abilities<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Combatting the &#8220;special syndrome&#8221; experienced by many physicians<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>For much of our lives, we\u2019ve likely been told we\u2019re special. We excel, do well in school, and have achieved<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>There\u2019s a trap in this, however, as it can lead us to seek external validation and feel threatened by others&#8217; success<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Being aware of this syndrome helps prevent it from derailing personal growth<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What role does self-compassion<strong> play in reducing burnout and improving motivation?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Harsh self-criticism is common among physicians and leads to struggles in various areas<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Using a self-compassion break can help when facing difficult tasks<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Training the brain in self-compassion is similar to building skeletal muscle<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Shifting from inner criticism to inner ally.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Practicing self-compassion shifts from negative self-criticism to motivation<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Inner ally promotes self-improvement and positive self-perception<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>How does the focus on comparison affect healthcare professionals&#8217; well-being?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Training from a young age emphasizes ratings, rankings, and comparisons<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Medical training intensifies comparisons, which can lead to a sense of scarcity and fear<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">&#8220;It doesn&#8217;t feel good when we&#8217;re in a scarcity mindset. It brings out the survival brain. Our shoulders crouch in, we feel small, we don&#8217;t feel loving and wanting to be a part of humanity.&#8221;<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Practicing gratitude and abundance shifts one&#8217;s physiology and well-being<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Cultivating gratitude and abundance creates a noticeable physiological shift<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Shift from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance and shared humanity<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>How do emotional reactivity and resistance to accepting reality impact healthcare providers?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Emotional reactivity and resistance drain energy and hinder effective communication<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Acceptance of the current situation helps achieve goals and maintain a sense of calm<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Mindfulness helps healthcare providers appreciate the present and avoid a &#8220;milestone mindset<\/strong>&#8220;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Often, professionals believe they will only be happy after achieving certain milestones<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Mindfulness practice helps appreciate the present and avoid constantly chasing future accomplishments<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The Illusion of &#8220;I&#8217;ll be happy when&#8221;: &#8220;We don&#8217;t have to follow these thoughts that are grossly unhelpful, that are draining us, that are keeping us out of the moments in our lives.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Postscript: There&#8217;s often confusion between acceptance of the moment and acquiescence to an external issue that you want to change<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With mindfulness, we are practicing awareness without criticism or judgment. Awareness without criticism or judgment leads to acceptance.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This can help turn down the volume of our emotional reactivity and promote equanimity. The trouble or confusion often comes when this gets conflated with situations that would often be construed as challenging.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There&#8217;s a difference between awareness of our own inner dialogue and accepting the situation and awareness of these external events and doing nothing about them &#8211; just rolling over and saying, \u201cYeah, I guess I just have to accept it.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These are two different types of acceptance. One is awareness and acceptance of what is happening at the present. The other type of acceptance is more of an acquiescence.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just because you are paying full attention to what is happening around you and within you without criticism or judgment does not mean that you can&#8217;t be a vehicle for change. In fact, awareness and acceptance of what&#8217;s within and around you make it easier for you to become a vehicle for change.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s tempting to think of accepting the reality of the moment as acquiescence or giving up, but the opposite is true. Awareness and acceptance of what\u2019s going on inside of you and around you is a recipe for equanimity. With this equanimity, you are able to operate at a higher level as well as be [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2210,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"nelio_popups_active_popup":"","yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>108. How To Not Argue With Reality - Orman Physician Coaching<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/roborman.com\/stimulus\/108-how-to-not-argue-with-reality\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"108. How To Not Argue With Reality - Orman Physician Coaching\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It\u2019s tempting to think of accepting the reality of the moment as acquiescence or giving up, but the opposite is true. Awareness and acceptance of what\u2019s going on inside of you and around you is a recipe for equanimity. 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